I will take my placenta to-go, please

Pregnant moms have a million questions to answer: which doctor; which hospital; what birth plan; birthing tub; epidural; etc…

Placenta art

Adding to the pile of decisions to make, mommas now have the choice to bring home their cuddly and warm placentas.

I can just see it now: “Mrs. Arnold, would you like your placenta cooked medium or medium rare?” Perhaps I would like it on ice. Maybe placenta stew or lasagna. Decisions, decisions.

While I can’t imagine bringing home my fresh-born placenta like some McDonalds Happy Meal, many mothers can – and now can do so legally.

The Oregon Legislature recently passed a bill allowing mothers who’ve just given birth the option to take home their placenta, basing it off of cultural or religious reasons.

Considered “hazardous waste” by hospitals, many mothers think the opposite. An uprising of mothers believe their placentas are the golden ticket, reinvigorating their health or acting as an active spirit that watches over the new baby.

Although there is no scientific evidence that identifies placentas as being a health benefit, many moms swear to it taking away their post-partum depression, rebalancing their hormones, giving them energy or replacing the nutrients lost during labor.

There must be a reason why the monkeys all do it.

For some reason, I can’t get that annoying Bloodhound Gang song out of my head: “You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals…” so let’s eat our placentas “like they do on the Discovery Channel”?

This placenta party is also one that I am very late to, as I learned there is even a Portland-based company called Tree of Life Placenta Services, which specializes in placenta encapsulation, placenta burial services and meal creation such as placenta tortilla soup or lasagna. People may also choose to have placenta art or keepsakes made.

Even though celebrities like Holly Madison and January Jones are all aboard the placenta train, it won’t be one that I’m hopping on. While I do believe the body can do amazing things, I only plan on bringing my baby home from the hospital.

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